Newsletter #5 - All the Love
Updates
We have our fourth in-person The Wild Gentleman Book Club meeting scheduled for this Tuesday, November 18, at 6 PM at Copper House Tavern in Waltham.
The book club selection for November is George Saunders's A Swim in a Pond in the Rain—one of my favorite reads from this year.
If you're planning to join us, RSVP here: The Wild Gentleman Book Club - Meeting #4 - A Swim in a Pond in the Rain.
As for next month. I am hoping to hold our meeting on December 16th, location TBD. As for the book, I am going to go back to a group vote for the end of the year read. Here are the choices:
- Flesh, David Szalay - This book just won this year's Booker prize. It is also striking up some controversy on the subject matter and masculinity. As The Guardian puts it: "In a year when the idea of literary masculinity – and its apparent scarcity – has featured so prominently, the ascent of Flesh – a story about a taciturn, lustful and at times violent man – was always going to drive debate."
- Frankenstein, Mary Shelley - I have yet to watch Guillermo del Toro's recent buzzed about version of this classic tale. I've also never read the book, which is on my must-read list of classics!
- A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens - I loved teaching this book year after year and think there is so much rich material that can be culled for this short read. Live in the present or deal with the ghosts of our past or future?
- The Stranger, Albert Camus - Another quick read, I've never read this book about alienation, meaning, and how we construct identity from this classic of what happens when a man becomes emotionally disconnected.
Vote HERE for the next The Wild Gentleman Book Club selection.
Read on.
Latest Blog Posts
Last month, I published "In Search of a Mentor." This was one of the more personal blog posts I've shared with the world thus far, and it took considerable focused writing and editing time to reach a point I thought was right. If you've had a chance to read it, I'd love to hear your thoughts—shoot me a note at dennis@thewildgentleman.com.
Look for two new posts being published this week. First, The Wild Gentleman will be publishing "A Swim in a Pond in the Rain: A Reader's Guide for The Wild Gentleman Book Club" to prepare for that evening's discussion. Second, I've been thinking and writing a lot about friendships and will be sharing some thoughts later in the week.
The Wild Gentleman Book Club
This Tuesday, November 18 | 6:00 PM | Copper House Tavern, Waltham
The book club is open to anyone interested in discussing life and books, or simply connecting with other thoughtful men. As one of the book club members describes it, "Very much not performative. Nobody's trying to impress anyone."
Last month's discussion of The Old Man and the Sea led to some deep conversations about persistence, experience, and the challenges of the unknown we face in our day-to-day lives. One specific point was how the challenge Santiago undertakes against the unknown fish is a lot similar to running a company, managing a team, or launching a risky venture. You must strive without any knowledge of what you are up against or what will happen next.
This month, we're reading George Saunders's A Swim in a Pond in the Rain. It's part exploration, part meditation on attention and how we read. Even if you're still working through it, join us. The audiobook is also excellent and available on Audible and Spotify—perfect for busy schedules.
Even if you haven't finished the book but want to experience what has been, for many of us, one of the highlights of recent months, please join us. These gatherings continue to exceed expectations.
Please RSVP here: The Wild Gentleman Book Club Meeting
This month's selection was chosen because Saunders's insights on reading—really, on paying attention—feel essential for the kind of lives we're trying to build. His approach to Russian short stories becomes a lens for understanding craft, beauty, and life in general.
As I see it, being a good man often means action—what to do, how to achieve, where to direct our energy. But Saunders book provokes another focus: How do we pay attention.
The quality of our attention determines the quality of our lives. How we read a story reflects how we read a situation, a relationship, a moment. Saunders teaches us that good reading (and good living) require:
- Presence: Being fully engaged
- Openness: Allowing ourselves to be surprised by all possibilities
- Patience: Trusting that meaning emerges through careful attention
- Revision: We can reread, change our mind, see something in a different light, think again, be better
These aren't just literary skills. They're life skills for thoughtful men.
Love and Support
One theme that keeps emerging in a lot that I read and engage with these days is the point that the person we choose to build a life with shapes everything that follows.
Scott Galloway: "The most important decision you will make is who you will choose to partner with..."
I could go on and on. But the main point is that these commentaries confirm that best decision I've ever made.
I'm grateful to Sarah for being a true partner in every sense—and for her unwavering support of The Wild Gentleman. Her encouragement to pursue this project, her patience with my late-night writing sessions, and her belief in what we're building here means everything.
Literature is full of examples that show us how the right partnership can elevate us. From the unwavering loyalty of Penelope in The Odyssey to the complex but sustaining marriages in Steinbeck's work, great stories remind us that who we choose matters profoundly.
Research supports this as well: One of the strongest predictors of long-term happiness and fulfillment is the quality of our closest relationships. Choose well, gentlemen. Choose someone who believes in your becoming, who challenges you to grow, and who loves you enough to be honest.
If you have that person in your life, tell them. Often.
The Gentleman Shares - Recent Thought-Provoking Reading
"18 Great Road Trip Books That Aren't 'On the Road'" - The New York Times
On the Road is one of my favorite books that I reread every few years. The pull the characters feel for the American road makes me want to seek more and more adventure. This curated list is compiled by the NYTimes for those of us who love travel literature but want to explore beyond Kerouac. Some wonderful recommendations here for capturing the spirit of adventure and movement.
Read here
"Yusuf Islam Wants to Explain Himself" - The New York Times
I've always loved Cat Stevens, and have always been interested in his conversion to Islam and subsequent withdrawal from public life. This profile digs into details from his new memoir, offering a remarkably honest account of his journey and how he was able to stay true to his beliefs.
Read here
"Abundance is not the Answer" - by Christopher F. Jones, Los Angeles Review of Books
I've read (listened to) Ezra Klein and Derek Thompson’s recent book Abundance and was wowed by how Jones engages with some of the misguided aims of the "abundance agenda" put forth. This is a really thoughtful piece questioning our cultural obsession with abundance and growth, while touching on how reliant we really should be with technology, the role politics and government in a better future, and, most importantly, how do we deal with income inequality. What does "enough" actually mean in our professional and personal lives?
Read here
How to Help The Wild Gentleman
Keep sharing ideas, book recommendations, blog topics, and feedback to dennis@thewildgentleman.com
Spread the word! If The Wild Gentleman resonates with you, share it with other men who might benefit. Here's the signup link: The Wild Gentleman Newsletter
The community we're building depends on thoughtful people willing to engage deeply. If that describes you (and I think it does), help us grow.
Until next month—keep reading, keep questioning, keep doing the things that scare you a little.
Wild at Heart. Refined in Mind.
Dennis
